Starting Over

Starting over at 52 to explore my early childhood and the initiation of my relationship with Jesus. Going back to the first things first from those days when I did not know anything except; Jesus loves you and has a good plan for your life.

It's a bit painful to explore the past, because from the perspective of an adult, you can see so very clearly all your childhood mistakes. You see how in your naivite you were possibly taken advantage of and how you in turn took advantage of others. You remember being abandoned, neglected or ignored. You remember being afraid, cold perhaps and frightened. You remember being vulnerable and powerless.

Of course, the "regrets" do not stop with childhood, they spill over into the teens and then twentys, thirties and so on. Mistakes, defiances, indiscretions even deliberate acts of meanness or unkindness; hidden sin, lies, deceit and hatred. Its all there in only 50 years of life. How can anyone truly believe we are inherently good?


Jesus said..."only God is good." Truer words were never spoken. God is good and human is fallen. We can never be good in and of ourselves, sin will not allow this. Can you imagine the sadness God must have experienced when all that HE declared as good, HIS incredible, beautiful, creation -- HIS (poema) workmanship, work of art went south because someone chose and made it so? This always hits me hardest when someone dies. God never intended there to be death and dying and so, for me, this explains the reason why it feels unnatural. God never intended death for HIS creation, it was a result of sin entering the world; the result of human choice.

So, as the Apostle Paul explained in the letter to the Romans, we are all prisoners of sin and death. We are captives of the flesh, doing what is not good and not doing what is. Our only hope lies in Christ and HIS finished work on the cross. Our encouragment is Romans 8:1-39 which brings me back to Jesus loves you and has a good plan for your life....it seems this is my starting over statement because everything begins and ends with Jesus and HIS great love for me - a human.

Lesson For Everyday

Pastor Tom Mambo (orange shirt with Allan Msowya--thumbs up on right, Martin Phiri, Chitipi Farm Manager far right in blue shirt, House Parent Patterson Lungu of Chitipi Farm back left in suit) all staff posing for a group shot in front of Salima dinning hall Feb 2007--they love their work!

Malawi Pastor Tom Mambo, who is visiting in the states for another few days and had been staying with our family before his trip to Hawaii, was back and at my home today. He is currently staying elsewhere since I've been sick with the flu and bronchitis. However, he came over to get some of his things and he asked if he could pray for me. "Of course," I said. He prayed that God would heal me so that I would be able to "do the many things HE has for me to do."

I was so humbled by this prayer, because being sick and/or discouraged makes you want to just give up and his prayer put my mind back on service to Christ and His Kingdom, rather than service to poor me.

I think that must be what Jesus meant when HE said...Occupy until I come....